Teach Teens to Hear Their Inner Voice Rather Than the Voice of Their Peers

4 June 2009 281 views No Comment

Teens Need to Learn to Hear Their Inner Voice Rather Than the Voice of Their Peers
By Lisa Perrecone

Choices, choices, choices…

Being a teenager today isn’t easy. There are many choices available to them that can have a deadly outcome. As parents we need to learn a different parenting style from that of our parents. Parents ought to develop a style that fosters independent thinking on the part of their teen. When a parent offers their child choices it allows the thinking process to develop. I would recommend offering two choices to start, either of which you can live with. As time and practice progress it will become an automatic part of your parenting style.

Start early

The earlier you can begin giving your child choices and letting them suffer the consequences of their choices the sooner you will develop a child with critical thinking skills that will serve them well in their teen years.

The best gift you can give your child is allowing them to make and own their mistakes and be empathetic in your response to their mistakes. Be very clear that you feel bad for them but none the less, it is their mess and they can fix it. Not you. Changing your personal view of mistakes from something that shouldn’t happen to appreciating the mistake as a gift and a wonderful learning opportunity is the key. Allowing your child the natural learning that comes from making mistakes grooms them for making it in the “real world.” Swooping in to rescue them is the last thing you want to do. That just sends the message that they are incapable of handling things themselves.

True Success

Your success as a parent isn’t measured by how much your child needs you. It’s actually measured by how much they don’t. In real life, your success as a parent is measured by how your child navigates the hiccups and bumps on life’s journey. Will they crash and burn or just re-adjust the flight path when the road gets bumpy? As a parent have you been training them early on toward making decisions by giving them choices or have you made those decisions for them, thus stunting their growth and ultimate attitude and altitude?

It’s never easy to see your child suffer consequences by their poor choices. It helps to keep in mind that the younger they are, usually the suffering is shorter and the consequences less life changing. When your child hasn’t been allowed to make enough mistakes when they were young, ultimately the poor choices they make as a teen can lead to much serious suffering and life changing consequences. It’s much better to have a little pain and a few tears in the younger years, than a whole lot more expensive pain in the later years.

Lisa Perrecone, MCPC is a certified parent coach. Lisa resides in Carlsbad, CA. Having raised her own two children she enjoys working with parents on how to become more skilled and powerful in their own parenting.

You can learn more by visiting http://www.lisaperrecone.com

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