How to Achieve Family Flexibility in Times of Financial Flux
By Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D.

As Leo Tolstoy put it in Anna Karenina, “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” What about other family traits? Are families who are flexible all flexible in the same way? And are rigid families each set in their own ways?

Today, families are being shaken up in record numbers as financial turmoil hits home. With all the job-related uncertainties facing them, families must be able to make changes in order to adjust to the current economic climate. They may even need to adapt to role reversals when a husband experiences a job loss and the family must depend on the wife’s wages alone.

Even before the current recession, women made up close to one-half of the work force. This percentage will likely increase since men held over 80% of the over 6 million jobs that have already been lost since last November. With more and more companies faltering and failing, the unemployment rate continues to rise, reaching 10% in some areas – the highest levels in over 25 years. As more men lose their jobs, the financial responsibilities of families are increasingly falling on the already burdened shoulders of women. When a woman becomes the sole breadwinner, the dynamics of the relationship change for everyone – husband/father, wife/mother and children. And as the family deals with the job loss, domestic stability may crumble and tensions climb. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Women can make adjustments at home that will help the family adapt to the turbulent changes in society.

Here are six tips to help you, and other women, combat the reorganization your family life may be facing as the economy continues to impact everyone.

1. Educate yourself about family finances. Get involved with the family budget as you seek out ways to reduce your expenses. Keep track of minor expenditures that can add up, like dinners out, entertainment and credit card interest rate costs. Think outside the box as you educate yourself on new possibilities open to you. They may involve dramatic changes like downsizing your home, selling possessions or even giving up plans for early retirement.

2. Expect a husband who has lost his job to have an emotional reaction. It’s normal to feel frustrated, tense and anxious at this time. But look for signs of more serious emotional changes such as depression, anger, or feelings of worthlessness. Stress can lead to dysfunctional responses like excess drinking, gambling or acting out. Acknowledging the common effects of job loss will help you avoid conflicts over minor issues.

3. Schedule family meetings to discuss changes you want to make. Get together to decide what needs to be done and who is best able to take on the responsibility of household chores. Involve your teenagers and emerging adult children so that they know what is expected of them. Take help from the family, especially if you are a Sandwiched Boomer. Everyone will feel better when they are doing their fair share. Present these challenges as a way to increase family resolve as you distinguish between wants and needs.

4. Let go of control. For many women, you are likely juggling work and parenting responsibilities already. Figures from the Bureau of Labor Statistics indicate that two-thirds of women with children under 18 work outside the home. Now is the time to prioritize and simplify. Don’t hesitate to ask your husband for more help with housework and the kids. Let go of how you did things before and allow your husband to do it his way. And have realistic expectations. It need not be perfect, as long as it gets done. Trust your family as you do yourself. Set reasonable standards, not ideal ones.

5. Take better care of yourself. Discover how to nourish yourself and set aside the essential time for this. Take a walk, stop to watch a beautiful sunset, listen to soothing music. Practice deep breathing to relax and positive imagery to improve your mood. Reach out to your friends for support. Draw on your spiritual connection for grounding as you find your center.

6. Stay optimistic and flexible. Redefine the crisis you are facing as a challenge and your fears as opportunities for change. Review how you have solved other major problems before. Focus on what you can do about solutions even though you didn’t create the problem itself. Remind yourself of all you are grateful for as you rebalance your life. Don’t give up when things don’t work out as you originally expected. Instead, put your Plan B in place.

There will be new perspectives and positives that come out of this ordeal for you and your whole family. Be proud of how you all are rising to the challenges. Recognize your strengths, assets, resources and the foundation of the family that will carry you through this transition. Change comes when you least expect it. The realities of the economy may eventually improve the careers of women even more than feminism alone did. In the meantime, your flexibility will serve you in good stead.

(C) 2009, Her Mentor Center

Rosemary Lichtman, Ph.D. is co-founder of http://www.HermentorCenter.com, a website for the Sandwich Generation, and the blog, http://www.NourishingRelationships.Blogspot.com She is the co-author of a forthcoming book about Boomer women and their family relationships and publishes a free newsletter, Stepping Stones through her website.

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Cheap Groceries – How to Make a Meal Plan For Less Than 20 Dollars Per Week
By Doug X Smith

Cheap groceries, and more importantly cooking more meals, is the easiest way to save money and has the largest immediate impact upon your budget. Even eating out as cheap as possible, it’s easy to spend over 15 dollars a day on horrible over the counter food. By preparing your own meals and packing lunch, you can eat for a few dollars a day, and not sacrifice anything but a few minutes of time. When you make the switch, you can save over 300 dollars per month without even noticing a difference in lifestyle. Here are some things you need to pick up, as well as some simple recipe ideas:

Eggs:
Dozens of possibilities. Beyond scrambled, over-easy, and poached, you can put almost anything in an omelet

Bread:
Useful for sandwiches and more, a basic staple

Beans (canned):
Can be combined with most sauces for high protein, high fiber meals. You can easily dump out some canned beans in a pan and add diced veggies and tomato sauce to make a vegetarian chili within minutes

Rice:
Hundreds of possibilities for combination with meat, bakes, stir-fries, sauces, curry and spices, etc

Pasta:
Like rice, can be combined with a vast amount of sauces and meats

Tomato/pasta sauces:
For pasta and rice

Spices of various varieties
A one-time purchase of 5 or so spices will last a long time and make sure you don’t get sick of any particular flavors/styles of cooking

Vegetables that are on sale/special:
Low calorie, high fiber, good variety of flavor/texture for dishes

Chicken or beef that’s on sale/special:
Protein and variety of flavor

The important thing here isn’t just that these things often result in fulfilling, delicious, nutritious meals that can cost less than a dollar, you can make thousands of combinations of food. Pasta and chicken combined with various spices and sauces can yield more combinations of food than you’ll ever get sick of eating (or making). Rice is a staple world-wide with obviously can be prepared hundreds of ways, and most people in the western world cast it aside.

When shopping for any of the above, make a list and stick to it. Avoid full price vegetables and meat, they can make or break your budget. Many grocery stores have a weekly newspaper that you can pick up near the entrance, and glancing over it can let you know where the amazing deals currently are. Also, make sure to take your time when looking up and down the aisle. Cheap groceries are mostly found up high or at your feet – additionally, look at the unit price (per ounce, liter, gram, etc). This does all the calculation for you and should be in smaller print under or next to the price on the aisle shelves.

Learning how to get into the routine of saving money on groceries shouldn’t be hard – Imagine what you can do with hundreds in your pocket per month! For more tips on anything from free food, saving gas, or finding designer clothing on sale, visit http://gettingcheap.blogspot.com/2009/02/cheap-groceries-how-to-make-meal-plan.html

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Money Saving Food Tips
By Wendy Crittenden

With the economy in a shambles these days, we all need to look at what we are spending on food and see where we can cut costs. We all need food, but there are some easy ways to save with a little patience and planning.

Coupons are the easiest ways to save money on your grocery bill and it doesn’t take that much time out of your week. Be cautious though not to buy things you don’t need just because you have a coupon. Also look to the Internet for savings as many stores have online coupons that you can take advantage of. Make a list of what you need and only take the coupons for items on your list. Another way to save money is to only take enough money to the store for what you absolutely need. Take a few extra dollars for variation in prices. This will prevent you from over buying those extra things you really don’t need.

By eating out less, you can save a ton of money throughout the week. Take your lunch to work and don’t forget about fresh fruit as a snack for the afternoon time when you get hungry. Stay away from the snack machines as they only cost money and are not very nutritional and try to think about lunches when you are cooking dinner at night. Make a little extra and freeze it so you can have it for lunch in the future.

Try cutting back on meat, which accounts for almost half of your grocery bill and focus on seasonal vegetables and fruits. They are more healthy and nutritious and there are many things you can do with them. When you do buy meat, buy it in bulk and freeze it. It’s much cheaper and look for deals that are “buy one get one free” at your local grocery store. They are feeling the pinch from the economy as well and are putting a lot of items on sale because of decreased sales.

Another way to save money is to buy generic. Everyone is brand conscious, but try other brands that may be just as good, but cost a lot less. Your local store probably has there own brand of frozen and canned vegetables and they are probably just as good as name brand. It’s almost like having a coupon with what you will be saving.

By eating right, you will have more energy and be more likely to succeed at work. Focus on portion control and use smaller food storage containers and plates. Eating the right amount of food and snacks will save you money and if you focus on portion control you can give up diets for good and be able to eat the foods you love.

For all the latest news and articles visit: http://www.goodfoodandfitness.com

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